The Walk: A Social Experiment
Two responsible and consenting adults take a short walk on a warm, sunny day. Pretty simple, right? So how is it possible that this could be misconstrued into something more complicated and almost sinister by a group of complete strangers who know nothing more than a few small details typed out on a chat room wall? It was the perfect social experiment stemming from one single question:
"Is going on a short walk with a married coworker of the opposite sex crossing any boundaries?"
Was I expecting such a strong response? Of course not. I wasn't expecting much of a response at all, but once the comments began flooding in I couldn't help but be fascinated by their responses. This question was posted in a chat room for single women over forty. It seemed as though no one really thought the walk was anything to worry about, until some questions were asked about the two people involved. This is where things got a little interesting...
It was asked if the married coworker was attractive, the answering being yes. This is where these women apparently had an issue. It was assumed that because the married coworker was a good looking man, that the single woman walking with him now had ill intentions. She was seen as someone who was after another woman's husband and was only fixated on destroying a marriage. It was also suggested that the conversation that took place during this walk was flirtatious and inappropriate. The opinions and allegations on this thread seemed to spin out of control based on nothing but stereotypes and perhaps troubling past experiences of the audience. The woman was even labeled by one user as the type of person she wouldn't want her husband to be around. This was intriguing.
Let's look at it this way:
Suppose that both of the parties involved were considered physically unattractive by society's standards. Would the walk then be considered socially acceptable since there was presumably no physical attraction involved? Unfortunately, society puts far too much effort into overthinking beauty standards and the stigma that comes along with it. "Beautiful" people are often thought of as more likable, intelligent, and especially flirty. Add a wedding ring to that and they become incapable of remaining faithful in a relationship. Even worse than that, single attractive women are being labeled as home wreckers for even speaking to a married man whether they be a stranger on the street or a trusted colleague. What about those who find inner beauty far more attractive than what the eyes can see or those who simply practice good morals?
Here's another scenario:
Suppose the single woman in question is physically attracted to females and therefore is incapable of seeing any male as anything more than just a friend or a colleague? No one thought to question her sexuality, only assuming that she was in fact a straight female who was strictly attracted to men. Would their assumptions and comments have been very different had she openly identified herself as a lesbian?
I find it amusing that we as a society have put so many expectations on one another based on very little information, but only what we think we know about a situation. We teach our children not to judge others while we place judgement on others everyday. When alone together, are any two people of the opposite sex completely incapable of respecting personal boundaries and conducting themselves in a professional manner while upholding good moral standards? It's disappointing to think that the two people in question here were so quickly labeled by complete strangers as "disgusting" and immoral human beings based solely on where they stand on the social scale as a whole.
Single attractive female + Married attractive male = Adultery and a destroyed marriage
Not always the case. Perhaps these opinions can be traced back to ones own personal experience with being cheated on by a trusted spouse. I understand this because I have had this happen to me multiple times. However, I also understand that what I have experienced in my past does not define my future, nor do the actions or intentions of my ex-husband at the time describe every man that I have or will encounter after him. We are all individuals and not all of us fall into that stereotypical category that society enjoys boxing us into.
What are your thoughts?
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