And So I Become

    The extravagance of the situation is mind altering, yet all too familiar to these fragile bones. I can feel you in my sleep, though your touch does not compare to that which has already left its imprint deep within the delicate layers of my flesh. We travel different roads, yet inhale the same stagnant air as it slowly fills our lungs with such vengeance that we are incapable of escaping its brutal force. I have been here before with trembling hands, but they are more than steady now. I anxiously fight what I know cannot be, for in its grasp I will become nothing, surrendering many years of an excruciating and seemingly endless battle.

    Be flattered by my absence, for it serves you well. I have walked this long desolate road many times and your stories are all but unique. You attempt to flatter me with empty dialogue and fierce renditions of a love that is no more, leaving behind a lonely shell of a man in desperate need of something new. The role I play is simple, yet it provides only temporary substance to a soul that has already held the cold hand of death. I pretend to believe your shallow words as they tumble from your lips, clumsy and broken. My soft-spoken and gentle demeanor the perfect disguise for more sinister intentions.

    So casually we are granted the difficult task of portraying the complex characters we choose to become, weaving our words so carefully for they determine who survives in the end and I have always been the victor. I graciously find joy in the fragile confessions of others. The more dysfunctional, the better as it fuels my insatiable desire to control that which once controlled me.-