Untarnished

Expectations high even when my world is crumbling, while others walk away in order to avoid the harsh realities that life sometimes brings, nothing more than a cowardly need. Watching from the sidelines as I patiently await my turn when this should never have been an option. Placing a stranger's happiness above my own while mine hangs dangerously in the balance, relying on empty promises and superficial words of admiration. Believing that love was all we needed as I so carefully held together all the broken pieces in the palm of my hand ignoring the blood as it stained my shirt. 

My only motivation: Love. 

Tearing me down as I built you up seeing nothing before me but an illusion when I was deserving of so much more. Sincere vulnerability with my heart wide open labeled crazy when this became too much. Silently broken when I wasn't enough even when giving my all, displaying a smile in the face of destruction, hidden behind these walls. I gave without question and loved just the same while watching you give your all to her. Accepting and understanding the impossible, making excuses to hide the pain. Pretending our world was perfect when it barely existed at all, unknowingly playing a role in a fantasy that I never auditioned for. 

Always alone. Always waiting. 

And now, through my pain, you need space? 

Breaking once more behind this tough exterior, keeping silent when I deserve to scream.-